Screaming Like a Homicidal Maniac

Ok, so I am not gonna lie, there are times during the day, that I feel an extreme urge to lock myself inside of a closet and scream like a homicidal maniac, in order to function like a normal adult. I do not even have enough hands and/or toes to count the amount of times that I actually have locked myself inside of a vehicle, an office room, a bathroom or a garage and yelled at the top of my lungs to get out my ongoing aggression towards a frustrating day. If you have not yet tried locking yourself inside of a quiet room to expel your daily anger, I highly recommend it-trust me it worksv . However, on the days that locking myself inside of a weird and secluded place has not worked, I have taken to releasing my anger through other outlets, which have worked quite successfully, if I do say so myself!

I would like to share those outlets with you!

Please see below for other ways to successfully release your daily anger below:

  1. Happy Hour:

    If you are not into screaming in order to to let our your aggression, might I refer you to a little thing called “Happy Hour”? As I have stated before, and as I will continue to loudly preach, Happy Hour is the perfect time of day between 5 p.m. and 7 p.m. when the most amazing restaurants offer food and spirits at a lovely discounted price. Whenever I am having a rough day, there is nothing like meeting a good friend for a serious vent session, while enjoying some cocktails. Or sometimes I find myself just going alone for a drink when the thought of chatting with someone makes me want to pull my hair out of my head happens. Either way, I always relax after a smooth glass of inexpensive wine enters my body with a plate of food that did not cost me my arm and leg. Please, next time you feel like you are going to lose it, take my advice and hit up Happy Hour. You will not regret it, pinkie swear!

  2. Work It Out:

    When I feel myself really getting down and out about life or having a serious case of the “why me’s” I need to hit the gym. For those of you who do not know, the “why me’s” is what I like to call the feeling that I get when I think that I am the only person in the world that has anything bad or stressful has ever happen to.  So, when the “why me’s” strike like a bolt of lightening, I find it insanely helpful to take my tail feathers to the gym and run like the wind. Exercising always helps me fell better. Sometimes, if I cannot force myself out of the basement, where I currently live like a troll, and I am in serious need of a mood booster, I will exercise my right to pretend to really work it out with my Dad’s five pound dumbbells that I have confiscated from him (not that he was even using them, to be clear). When I do decide to wallow in the basement, I will usually lift a few weights and call it a day. Seriously though I find that my meager attempt to get the endorphins going really helps. If you are not a gym body, like myself, just do a couple of push-ups at home, in your basement alone. I promise you will feel loads better!

  3. Enjoy A Good Laugh:

    You know that saying, “laughing is contagious”? Well, laughing is definitely contagious! I have found that watching Friends, The Office and/or Parks and Rec have become the only three shows, in my life, that create belly aching laughter even after the most stressful of days. Nothing brings a smile to my face more than watching Chandler from Friends make a bad joke, or Dwight from The Office doing something creepy to Jim while plotting to become the next office manager, or Leslie Knope, from Parks and Rec, obsessing awkwardly over her friends. Each of these shows has created a special place in my heart that brings out child like laughter that is unlike anything else, especially when I am in a bad mood. If you have not watched any of these shows, please do yourself a favor and “Netflix and chill” with these three shows as soon as possible, so that you too can enjoy a belly aching laugh, instead of sitting wallowing around in anger!

  4. Cry!:

    I am sorry, but sometimes it is just therapeutic to enjoy a good cry! If I have just endured a day that felt like I was punched in the gut, crying at some point is absolutely inevitable. Sometimes during a dreadful day, I find it very rewarding to hold my tears in until I get home. I truly enjoy coming home after a long day, putting on my fat pants, tearing off my bra, pouring a glass of wine, making myself a cheese plate, turning on a romantic movie and balling my eyes out like a baby. Crying, for me, is one of the best ways to let go of the emotions I have been holding onto for far too long. If you need to cry, just do it. Lord knows that I cry on a regular basis and damn does it feel good!

  5. Talk To Yo’ Parents:

    I have been very blessed in my life to have been created by two very amazing people. My parents, Jack and Peg, are almost always willing to lend an open ear when I am ready to lose my mind and go ape sh** crazy. If you are as lucky as I and you have the ability to consult with your parents when you are feeling meaner than the Grinch, you should do it. My parents always let me vent to them, complain about the most minute things in life and then give me  advice, that I usually am frustrated with, but almost always end up following! I know that we all think that our parents are dumb, but boy do I feel loads better after verbally releasing my rage while my parents listen does wonders for my psyche.


I hope you have found one of the five stress relievers listed above sufficient for your relaxation needs. If not, however, I formally apologize. I would then fully recommend that you find the nearest vacant closet, scream from the bottom of your lungs, until your face is beet juice red, take a few deep breaths and come back down to reality before you hurt someone! Tonight, I will be taking my aggression out with a stiff drink at Blue Point Grille with a gal pal and hopefully dancing the night away to some awful jams at a local dive bar!



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