Two very significant events took place this past week and I would most definitely like to share them both with you.
- I met The Grinch, Michelangelo from The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, and Elmo after slamming the best Bloody Mary at The Market, in Rocky River. I mean, I do not care how old you are, when you see an army of fictional characters coming towards you, you better recognize! However, the two alcoholic beverages I consumed for brunch probably did not help this reaction. I basically lived every child’s fantasy this weekend, right?
2. I live at home with my parents, if you did not know, and after our last dog passed over Thanksgiving weekend, my parents decided to get a new puppy. And, after spending some time with this adorable puppy, I have made some very serious life decisions. These life decisions are essentially focused around my prime child bearing years.
For example, owning a puppy is basically the exact equivalent of popping out a screaming toddler. I have not had a normal night of sleep since the pup has arrived. She screams all night long, exactly like a two year old. And, when she is not eating during waking hours she is dropping tiny little puppy poops all over the house. So, just after having this new friend in our dwelling, I am firmly sticking by my decision to never procreate. I am not kidding, I officially do not want a baby–ever!
Although this pup is insanely cute, with an adorably floppy ear, I look like a haggard mess. The puppy is absorbing any cuteness that I may have once owned. I officially look like I am a mother of three who has not slept since she popped out said children, and all said children have been suffering from colic. Then again, if I am getting so excited over a hoard of fictional characters walking my way, I probably do not need kids anyways.
P.S. I should tell you that the cats are having a very difficult time with the new pup. Please refer to the following photograph as evidence that my cats are confused and pissed beyond all reason. Hucky (the tabby) is basically thinking to himself, “Not another animal. Whhhyyy, Lord? Why?” Then you have Keller who is basically stating with her eyes, “Go fuck yourselves ass holes.”